if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
