I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
