Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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