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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
