well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize