and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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