Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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