Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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