So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
