don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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