flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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