Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize