five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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