Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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