Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
