This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
