Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
