i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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