I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
