two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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