Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
