check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Randomize
