please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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