Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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