You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
