walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
