the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize