Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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