since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
