Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
