You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
