bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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