I hope mine doesn't look like that
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize