we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The Olympian is in my bed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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