he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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