I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
