I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
