i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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