just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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