I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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