i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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