Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
