I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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