I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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