Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
