You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
