I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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