i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize