this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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