six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
