Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
where does the pee come out of this thing
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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