I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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