I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
