I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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