I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
