the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
