I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
