I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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