Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
