I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
