I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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