its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
