Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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