at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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