If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize