hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
