everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well I just put wine in my tea
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
