I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
