I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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