Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
